What I See
by Misha
Summary: She sees clearly what there is between him and she realizes that she has lost her place as the most important woman in her best friend's life.


What I See  
By Misha

Disclaimer- I do not own any of the characters of General Hospital. They belong to the creators of General Hospital, Wendy Riche, Bob Guza, ABC Daytime, and probably a lot of other people with more money than me. I'm not making any money off this story so please don't sue me.

Author's Notes- This is a short, reflective piece that was originally going to be from Courtney's PoV. But in the end, I realized that didn't fit and made it Carly's instead. This may seem out of character, but... It's the deepest, intermost thoughts. It's her thinking about Jason and Brenda and the feelings between them. It was written before Brenda left the show and before the kiss with Sonny and Carly's reaction, so that part is off, but... Oh, well, it's fiction, I can mess with the facts if I want. Well, that's all for now, enjoy!

Pairing- Jason/Brenda.

Summery- She sees clearly what there is between him and she realizes that she has lost her place as the most important woman in her best friend's life. 

Rating- PG

* * *

I've lost Jason. Not in that way. Jase and I are just friends.

But at the same time, I always knew that I was the most important woman in his life. That none of the women he dated could replace me in that regard.

But not anymore.

He doesn't realize it yet, but it's finally happened. He's become Brenda's. She doesn't know it yet either, bit I can see it.

Just like I can see that she belongs to him the way he belongs to her. 

They think it's pretend. They thing that this is a masquerade and that when it's over, things will revert back to the way they were before.

Hell, they still think they hate each other.

But I know better than that. I see the affection they feel for one another in their glances. I can tell by his stance, how protective he is of her. And I've seen how loyal she is to him.

They are slowly becoming bonded in a way that neither of them has ever been bonded before.

He is not like the men in her past.

Jason sees Brenda as she is. No pretenses, no trying to make her into something she's not. He doesn't see her as a goddess or a porcelain princess who needs to be protected the way Sonny and Jax always did. 

They never really saw her for what she was. In their minds, they made her out to be what they wanted her to be.

I know Sonny as well as anyone ever will and I finally understand how he feels about Brenda. I don't think that Sonny even really wants to be with her anymore. He's happy with me, I know he is.

But loving her is a habit too ingrained for him to break. She's his impossible dream, the one he wants, but can never have.

He knows that she's bad for him and that he's bad for her. After all, when he has her, they destroy one another. But that doesn't stop him from wanting her.

Brenda understands it as well as I do.

At first, I thought that she was going to play the game all over again, and put Sonny through Hell once more, but now I understand. I understand that she sees Sonny's feelings for what they are. I can tell by the way she looks at him now. She knows that he needs her there, even if he can never have her. And because she never wanted to hurt him, because she will always love him, she's still there in the way he needs her to be. But she also knows that Sonny has never really seen or understood her.

It's the same with Jax. Brenda and Jax have some sort of fairy tale thing going where he plays the knight in shining armor and saves her from herself. He tries to keep her safe, to protect her from the big bad world. I think Brenda realizes that she doesn't need that anymore, if she ever did, and she's getting sick of it.

She wants to be her own person, stand on her own two feet and Jason will let her do that. Oh, he'll still try to protect her. It's his job, as well as his nature. But he'll also see her as a real person. He sees her flaws, her mortality and he cares for her anyway.

He doesn't see her as the perfect woman. He doesn't try and force her into a role. He lets her be who she is.

She irritates him, drives him to distraction, but at the same time she awakes something in him that no one else ever has.

That's why she frightens me so much. Because Brenda will claim him in a way none of the women from his past could. She will take him away from me.

I think the reason that I want him with Courtney is because she's not a threat to what he and I share. She won't take too much of him from me.

Brenda will. 

She's nothing like the women he wanted in the past. As a rule he tends to go for sweet and gentle girls, who have some strength, but still need a big strong man to look after him. Robin, Liz, Courtney... They're all cut from that cloth.

Brenda isn't. She argues with him and challenges him. She has no desire or need to be protected. And there's nothing sweet or gentle about her. 

They're an odd match, nothing like either went for in the past, and on the surface it's hard to imagine and they certainly don't see it.

But they will someday soon.

I can't stop it. I want to. God, do I want to. But I can't.

Because it's already done. They don't know it yet, but they're already connected. Somewhere along the line these two unlikely people fell in love. They don't know it yet, they don't see it. But I do. Maybe because he's my best friend and I understand her in a way I never thought possible.

I see both of these people so clearly that it would be impossible for me not to see the way they love one another.

Soon they will see it and they will realize what they mean to one another. I wish I could say I'll be happy for them. But I won't, because it'll mean that I'll have lost my place as the most important woman in Jason's life.

And that will hurt. 

But I guess I always knew it had to happen someday.

And though I'll never say it out loud, if had to be anyone, I'm glad it's Brenda.

Yeah, she's a spoiled, selfish brat. But God does she have spirit. She'll make his life interesting and she'll love him. 

I couldn't ask for more.

So I'll just wait until they realize what I already know.

And who knows, maybe then I'll be able to dance at their wedding (their real one) with an open heart.

Maybe I'll stop feeling like I've lost my best friend.

The End


End file.
